We spend the largest part of our day at work and it is important to feel comfortable during this period of time. One of the main factors which can endanger our inner comfort and harmony is the attitude of the boss and colleagues towards us and the violation of our inner borders protecting our physical and psychological private space.
In order not to make your work the source of constant stress you should establish and define the borders in communication with other people. The best distance between the tables in the office should be 1.5 meters otherwise it will be intrusion in a person’s private zone. Another necessary factor which will help you to feel good at work is providing a proper feedback by your management. If you get response, you will feel needed and respected.
Sometimes it can be difficult to inform your boss or colleagues that your private borders have been violated. You can use the method of “I-message” for this purpose. It involves informing another person on your feelings which were caused by his intrusion. It is essential to avoid “you” pronoun in order not to lay on a concrete person all the blame and stay in neutral or friendly relations with him.
Another effective way to protect your personal borders is brief “no” as a response to some improper request, without any explanations or excuses. This method has its advantages – first of all, the reasons you give may appear unimportant to your opponent. Besides, the necessity to explain your personal situation may lead to inner protest and discomfort. If strict “no” is impossible in your case, try to achieve compromise by offering some ways of satisfying the needs of both parties.
Note, that in business it is important not only to establish your own borders but also treat the personal borders of the others with respect. So if you feel that your borders are constantly violated, may be the intruder are you?